Indifference

This note is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend of mine. A black friend of mine. It is about white people. Perhaps that statement is derogatory and deformatory so perhaps I should rephrase it. It is too general. This note is about our relationship/ how we relate with white people. How we see them. In the end,  the conversation made me reflect on my stance with them.

Alright, here’s the deal: Recently my friend and I went to a gathering where there were (lots) of white people. We admittedly had a really great time. I personally learnt alot about the way they do things, they have great parties and good chow. Fantastic. It all began when I was looking at the stars, there are three stars that I’ve always ‘known’ and I was showing them to my friend when one of the (white) guys poignantly pointed out that that was ‘Orion’s belt’. Naturally, I was like, who?! Then they went on to explain greek mythology to me.  I had my reservations.

The next day my friend and I were still on this as I was like, who gets to name things and decides what they are? My friend has her objections and opinions which were :  Even after 16yrs of democracy (which is really a hypocracy) white people still get the advantage. They live in all the posh surbubs that are always closer to the beach, get to name sh!t like stars and the like while we live in the squallor of squaters and poverty. That the black nation is still opressed because we still do not own the land that we were promised. Our education department is a joke, I mean for half the year teachers go on strike and at the end of the year we manage to get an increase on the Matic pass rate and the department gets a pat on the back for a job well done. We will not even begin to talk about our Health department which is currently in shambles.  Stats claim that Africa has the highest rate of AIDS  infection while America, according to Oprah’s claims has gone down by 90%. A whole 90% ?!! That’s a bit like saying they don’t have AIDS in America and all must come to Africa to get the face of the disease. Please!!

I agreed with her on some points like health, education and the constalation. I mean, google that and see if you can join those stars properly to form an Orion, who the hell’s orion anyway?  Like I said I agreed with her on some points but I draw the line when it comes to hating white people purely for the colour of their skin. I come from a township and I’m probably seen as some fake, stuck-up, coconut bitch who’s naive enough to befriend the ‘devil’s child’.

The thing is : I see the injustices. Everyday , I confront them and at times they confront me , however I refuse to take it out on people who really have got nothing to do it : my (white) friends. What I’ve come to learn from them is that they go through the same shit I do, if not worse at times.

I understand, that by virtue of being black I am the primary suspect should there be a crime, I am disadvantaged. B.E.E hasn’t done me any favours. My parents got it worse than I do hence my mother died from AIDS AND having never had a stable job. How could she? My gran worked in the kitchens therefore my mother never afforded to go beyond grade 8 of the time. My point ? If I don’t hate whites then what does that make me ? A fake, coconut, ass-kisser? A sell- out? A disgrace to the black community?

Who’s ass have I kissed? The youth today doesn’t fully understand the struggle. They were not part of it. Besides, I don’t believe in the whole anarchy thing they are doing in Zim. It would not work for us S.Africans coz black S.Africans are too busy being obsessed with self empowerment. Once one of us gets a million rand tender it’s fancy house and fancy car and screw everybody else. So my question then is who really screwed us over and why aren’t we angry at them? Why aren’t we rebelling like Egypt and Tunisia? Aren’t we angry enough or hungry enough?

I believe the current government is a circus controlled by higher powers that most of us aren’t even aware of. I don’t buy the shit they sell us on TV hence I don’t watch it much. I also understand that by virtue of colonisation, whites don’t ‘belong’ in Africa, but what do we really know about our history? How do we know for sure that what we’ve be taught is true / factual info on our history books and stuff about galaxies? What about all the other galaxies out there? Who stays there? The stars are planets in their own right.

It seems I’ve said alot about nothing. Maybe I am fake. Maybe I should see in colour. Maybe one day I will wake up from this illusion : When I’m tired of running a half a kilometre every morning just to catch a train just because my parents couldn’t afford to buy me a car. Yet we forget that so many of our black people occupy those larny surbubs and drive fancy cars. I see so many things. The difference between schools that we have in the townships and those in the cities for ‘white’ kids. The difference in the hospitals. Who is to blame? I see all the injustices but at the present moment I still don’t hate white people. I don’t blame all my misfortunes on them. I’m indifferent.

I dream of peace and harmony. For us to remember where we come from, our history yet not let it be the reason we hold contempt for each other. I’m an idealist. The world is not ideal. Perhaps I was born at the wrong time. Maybe my time had not yet come but I pushed forward to be born. Now here I am. Indifferent. Biko would most probably denounce and disown me. Maybe I’m brainwashed. I don’t know. I’m not sure. I just know that white people don’t hold the answers to all of my questions. Maybe in future I’ll be proven wrong. For now , I’m just indifferent.

Advertisements

One comment

  1. futuresoul · March 25, 2011

    @ Eendjie- you are so right…wish we all shared that sentiment.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s