a love hate relationship

I have this love hate relationship with smoking. I say this because just the other day I confirmed to myself that I am a smoker. Officially. Rather odd for someone who’s been in this business of puffing for a while…denial is such a thing.

So I freaked out about being a smoker then got over it coz the latter would’ve led me to make a decision which I would rather not like to make right about now. To quit or not. Hence the love hate.

It makes me laugh each time i think of it- and this is usually when i have puffables at hand. I just look at the smoke and smile and then those morbid thoughts come in.

I love smoking, i think i just don’t like what they say it does to me. I am a little sceptical because I am one who needs tons of reasearch to have proof of something.

Kinda like the HIV thing (yes, I am going back to that. Confused? See prev post : A question for all bloggers). The thing is my friend and I were having this discussion about it. How odd it is- the whole thing. From getting tested and what happens post that. I mean what is with the whole mello-drama? We are puzzled: When you get tested – you are not tested for the virus itself , whether it exists in your body or not, but rather the anti-bodies. Isn’t this odd? They give you all this information about how you need to treat this thing which they assume you have by detecting antibodies or some other word like that. How is this possible? How can you treat someone for something that you don’t know? “Yohttp://www.facebook.com/u are to take these pills at every 24hours, if not you will die”, my god how morbid! And if you ask any information about this , nobody gives you $hit! All that you are supposed to know is that you must take whatever they tell you or you will die.

I’m sorry but it seems strange to me that someone will treat you for something that they are not even sure about, what is , how it is and why it is. I tell you, Will Smith was on to something with that I, Robot movie.

A lot is wrong but my point was, I have a love hate relationship with smoking …and right about now I don’t feel like quitting..

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