something missing

I think I should get back to writing again, I haven’t done that in quite a whie. I need to find a library, I haven’t read anything in a long while. I miss reading. The people I live with don’t read and they don’t understand my love and passion for it. It’s a culture that I’ve started. I pray to one day pass it on to my son.

There are things that need to be done, things I haven’t gotten around to doing. Like emptying my bags, there is so much clutter. I consider myself not a hoarder yet everything seems to have sentiment somehow. I pray to be not like my great grandmother who kept till slips from 19beyond comprehensible.

Yet I keep things because one day I hope to document them in my biography that I hope to write. I pray to write accurately and factually without harming anybody’s feelings. It will be my truth yet still I don’t want to be inconsidarate.

Do I have a story to tell? I most certainly believe I do. Life in itself is a story, a movie that one should not only write about but live. Living in my own movie is interesting because I get to be the main charachter without walking the red carpet. I love this because I create my own red carpert.

Then there are other things to do…things that etch my soul when I sleep at night. Like finding proper accomodation where my baby and I can live. As you probably know I’m sharing a room with this chick who’s really nice yet I need to find my own space because I need to find my own quiet.

There’s something about silence that is so golden to me, something so pure and untouched. Something clean about it. Last night for the first time I do beleive I got to enjoy this freedom as my roomie the flatmate went out to a Spur or the other restaurant. That was nice- them leaving can’t say much about the Spur or other.

Jozi winter is strange to me…the streets look like they have frost. They’re wet and shiny[ 😉 ] . The sun comes out when it wants to…the past few days haven’t been too bad though I must confess.

Yet something is missing…my King next to me to taste this victory with me. To share the world, to laugh as we discover new things. To feel comfort as he safely leads me to new worlds. To have someone who looks out for the cars at the robot stop for me. Someone to kiss me on the forehead when we part. Smile and say I love you. Send me call me backs with cute messages during the day. I miss that.

My work life is interesting. I feel like Ugly Betty, maybe I should stop watching the series. But I feel like her because I am this girl from poor ‘previously disadvantaged’ background. By the Grace of Almighty I have managed to scape myself through school. Now here I am at this ‘elitist’ club if I will call it that. Getting to know all about technology…something I never would’ve thought would even be in the line of things I would receive in my life. Yeah I know, like you never know what lies in your journey but $hit you know sometimes you have a vague idea of where you want your life to go. Plans. And its amazing how at times nothing ever works out the way you planned but better. I love that.

Something is missing though…I don’t know how to fix that. I have a plan, a vague one and I’m praying by all my might that it works out…better than I planned.

Here’s hoping.







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