I need you to know

I am currently having a hard time struggling with you

Leaping over tall walls with tall buildings

The honest truth is

I am currently having a hard time with you seeing me at my worst

My lowest

The truth is

Right now as you see me I am bare

I have nothing to cover the rusty rocks

No fancy material

As you see me is what I am

I am struggling with entertaining thoughts of what you may be thinking

When I ask you say ‘nothing’

I love how you’re always always there no matter what

I love how you hold my hand through it all

I love how you’ve been there yourself

Truth is this experience is completely new to me

When I don’t wanna cook it is not because I want you to go hungry

When I don’t wanna have sex it is not because I don’t desire you

When I don’t wanna cuddle it is not because I am not affectionate

It’s just that I need my space and right now it’s our space

This one bedroom feels a bit crowded at times

Not because I don’t love you

It’s just that I need time to figure stuff out

How everything works out

You don’t need to

I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders

You laugh because you know I know you’re there

I need to trust you more but I’ve learned the hard way

I need you here and I am grateful

It’s just that sometimes I need my peace

It’s just that sometimes I worry for you

It’s just that I wish I could offer more

Be more, say more, do more, love more

I need you to understand I am paranoid

I need you to understand I am unstable

I need you to understand I am vulnerable (at times)

I need you to know I am my own Queen

I need you to know I am my ow Warrior

These not to make you inferior

Perhaps all the more stronger

I need you to know…I need you to know…

 

 

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