Dear God

Dear God

I need help. I’m at my wits end and I have no idea where else to go or who else to turn to. I’m stuck in a situation which I have no idea what to do with nor do I have any experience how to deal with it.

I’m in a relationship which I think is not working for me , I feel stuck because the other person (says) needs my help despite hurting me so very badly. What do I do?

This is the same person who has been there for me when no one else was looking out for me. The person has not only abused my love, affection and kindess but my emotional and psychological state of mind.

I am now living in fear and paranoia and I am unable to enjoy my daily life. I have heard most opinions on what to do yet it is so not simplistic.

I am hanging on by a thin thread. I need to feel free and happy again. I have no idea how. I’ll admit I have my own personal issues which I need to address so I may live the life you designed for me, but at this moment I haven’t even the remotest idea of what that life is, how it looks like and where upon it lies.

Lies, secrets and deception have lead me to the point I am standing. I need your help. I need you to show me the path I must take. I need you to open up my eyes and heart to truth. I need you to speak to me, I need to hear you.

My soul is weary and body is tired. I wanna fall asleep. I wanna find meaning again. That determination.

I wanna arise to a new day and see the sun anew again. I wanna have that feeling again..that brightness of the new day. I wanna chase with such zest again, have that hunger and appetite for life again.

I wanna be surprised more over by will and determination. I want anger, bitterness, sorrow, pain and loneliness to leave me. I feel trapped. Mental cages. Perhaps I am in denial of so much. Perhaps I am so afraid of the unknown. I know I’m tired though. I’m tired of being tired, it’s exhausting and draining the living day lights out of me.

I have panic attacks, I hyper ventilate, I stress out and I get paranoia. I’m carrying such a heavy load all on my own and I can’t do it anymore, I need you to take over.

I want a cat, a furry friend to watch and care for. I’ve been having this idea for two weeks now. I need something else to love and take of. In fact I need all things to be new.

I need you to restore my spirit, complete and make me whole again, renew my mind and way of thinking. Help me sleep better at night with no tears to fill the pillow.

I am surrendering…I can’t do it anymore…I need you to take over…

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2 comments

  1. jeanihess · September 6, 2012

    Hello:) I hope that you feel restored?

    Like

  2. futuresoul · September 7, 2012

    Hi Jeanius …indeed I am , renewed and restored. I always am though when I talk to Him. A source of comfort and provider of and for all. 🙂 How are you?

    Like

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