Sometimes in life we lose our way…most times it’s not a matter of being lost rather being side tracked…derailed from the original plan as it were.
I have read enough self help books to learn that self help does not help. I am talking specifically about find and losing love. Yes a bit syrupy for this time of the day but who gives a flying f$ck? right?
We met, we look, we fall…in love or so we convince ourselves. Love is sweet in the mind of youths and joyous in the arms of the lover until of course we part ways. Then the drama ensues : “See what happens if you keep talking”! “See what happens if you lay a finger on me mother f$cker!! ” …even Talib said it better than I do. But it happens to the best of us…some with less impact than others…less carnage.
How much more difficult then when children are involved? Traumatic, not so sure about the children than the spouses involved.
I remember when I had my child, the road was never easy. I was young, I had no clue how to deal with the news of being pregnant moreover was I not sure about how to handle ‘Daddy’ bailing. I remember many nights of viscious anger that just would not end, insults flying around like mosquitos on a hot summer day…tears would flow and more of the same would follow.
I think it all came from a deep fear , fear of the unknown, being alone ..doing things on my own. I suppose it did not help matters much to find out that ‘my’ man was dating every skirt he could ‘lay a finger’ on. Neither did it help he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. However now, looking in retrospect I am grateful that all of that happened. I really don’t know what I would’ve done or who I’d have turned out to be had they not.
Someone I love sincerely is going through something similar and this post is by no means disrespecting the confidence she has in me. It’s just that at this time I long only for the visuals to become a reality. It hurts to lose the ones we love but somehow I think it hurts more to keep those who don’t want to be around.
I believe Life never stops …it continues on and on and so it will even here. Where kids are concerned though ..I have a very helalthy dare I say happy little boy growing right in front of my eyes and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Would I have liked the Days of Our Lives version of ‘Honey we’re having a baby’? Maybe…am I glad I didn’t? Definitely.
These days ‘Daddy’ calls me to arrange time with his little one and I know better than to stand in the way of their relationship and I’ve seen them together when they were not looking – really happy.
Moral of the story : Things work out on their own without our interference.