I am awake and he is asleep. Things are the same though somewhat different. There’s been massive changes in both our lives and I’m glad. I’m tired and I wanna sleep yet I can’t because I ate late and the reason for that is when I got home I was tired and I fell asleep so I couldn’t eat when everyone was, so I woke up and gave him a bath and afterwards I ate.
I just realized that this is now my life. This is here is me. I am a 30 year old woman who is growing as a business woman and in all aspects of her Spirituality. Business is doing well, achieving milestones and moving in strides. I’m about to move out of home permanently and whenever I look I see my future in glimpses and fragments and I like what I see.
I’m usually glad about being able to see my bright future for there were many dark days when I did not even see the finger in front of my eyes. Yes, I have been suicidal, thankfully I was strong and brave enough to not do it. I’m an inspiration to many African children for the situation with being African is that we are born into poverty and therefore do not really hope or dream much. Usually dreams are just wishes that pass by in a cloud of smoke.
I sometimes think and wonder how I made it and continue to make it against all the odds. I suppose the simple and realest answer is that I have been blessed with a sound mind. The other reason is that Art loves me for it continues to live in my soul.
I’m awakening to more and more of the successful woman in me. Yet I feel something is missing. I have not been able to meet with that one guy who’s really gonna be everything I’m dreaming of. Ok, so he might not have everything I’m looking for 🙂 but still, you know…a girl got needs and she gotta eat 🙂 …hahahah…
Seriously though, I am looking foward to the house, the cars and all the successes. I feel it’s nothing though, all of those accomplishments, withouth someone to share them with. Yeah my girls and my baby will be there I know and I’m glad for that mercy yet I can’t wait to come home and hold on to strong arms that really wanna hold me. Arms that are strong enough to embrace the woman I am and all that I will become.
Arms that celebrate achievements and milestones, arms that work damn hard to get us to where we need to be. Ooh Lord knows I’m tired of the raggedy-ass-wanna-talk-all-day-and-blunt-till-he’s-silly-type who don’t do nothing but complain about how life is. Can’t deal.
I need a real man who’s ready like I am. I suppose that’s why Lady J’s poem (I will wait for you) makes so much sense to me right now for I have been waiting and I will continue to wait till he arrives.
Great things are worth waiting for.