Prayer Within

Dear  God

So I finally took that leap of Faith and delved straight into your loving arms and I am grateful you were there to catch me.

Life is not always so easy but I’m learning to adapt to the ever changing tides without complaining too much. In all honesty it does hurt sometimes to not be able to be where I want to be, when I want to be.

I guess I gotta learn more about accepting your Divine will for my life and remember that it has less to do with me but everything that was intended and predestined for my Life.

I love to think I have a soft heart though I am perceived as bold, brave and courageous. I suppose I do well in masking the cowardly me that is vulnerable and weak.

My sin is that I love too quickly and I’m easy to forgive though I have been hurt deeply. I suppose it is exactly this that people may think I am “strong” which, to me anyway, translates to the inability to feel or be hurt.

Of course I approach life with an ‘iron ore’ mentality where I happily wear my coat of armour as I brave the cruel world.

One of my cousins says I should be careful because “It’s a jungle out here and everyone wants to be King”and I couldn’t agree more.

I don’t know why bad things happen to good people but one thing I know is that this is Life and the best thing we can do is live it.

I’m thankful for each and everyday that I’m blessed with as I see it as an opportunity to chase my dreams further and also an opportunity for me to get to know myself a bit better.

I appreciate the fact that each time I look inside me I find pieces of good and bad which make me to be at peace with myself.

No longer do I chase the demons that are my fears and imperfections but I choose to face them head on with conviction.

It is so not easy, yet for all of my struggles I’m grateful because they make me press on a little bit harder and a little bit further, so thank you.

I aspire to live a life of meaning and purpose purely because I have spent  a lot of time not doing so and it has wasted away my soul.

Yet despite all of the ups, downs, dramas and epic fails, You have continued to hold my hand and informed me that you have not left me nor forsaken me, I appreciate that.

I’m so glad to be that woman who counts on You in times of joy and sorrow, I never really saw it happening.

Remember that time I was scared at failing a maths test and I prayed so hard to You with tears in my eyes? 🙂 …And I remember saying that if You made me pass I would completely devote my life to You.

You must’ve laughed because I was so young and so naïve and I knew nothing about what I was doing even though I thought I did.

I’ve hurt some people along the way, including myself to a point where numbness was all I felt. I guess I was just tired of feeling and needed something that would ease the pain.

Life is about joy and sorrow much like sugar and salt, both very necessary for variety and flavour.

I’m thankful for all the opportunities and possibilities that are afforded to me by Your Love, Grace, Peace, Light and Wisdom, it certainly adds colour to my very dull world.

In all the sensationalism and hype my only prayer is for the opportunity is to look beyond it and still find me. I pray for my feet to remain firmly planted on the ground and my heart ever so humble towards Your will.

I am the rose that grew from the concrete. I’m a million shattered put together into one complete puzzle. I am perfect in my imperfections.

Thank You.

Love always,

Me.

 

 

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